Marriage is Precious.

Well, this week we talked of what happens with a family after a divorce. I have never experienced this for myself neither through the perspective of a child nor as a person getting divorced. In my life, I have had very little experience with it. And so, I know that I cannot give a very accurate perspective of divorce and how it effects the lives of the family. But I know that it should not be dealt with so lightly like people do now.

There are situations in which divorce is probably favorable to staying in a marriage, such as abuse. There are no-fault divorces now, the only reason that people divorce is because they no longer feel "in love." (That is probably over simplifying what happens in these situations, but I really do not have much experience.) Any person that has been married, will say that "love" does not just come without work and effort. Marriage is the most sacred and perfect place to develop Christ-like characteristics. It is a place for one to forget about their own desires, learn how to work together, and make decisions with another person. God planned it out like this. He knew that we would need an institution like this to help us become better people. The other day, I saw something on Facebook which said that the couple was very happy to have divorced, but are still raising their kids together. What does that say to the child? 

In the situations in which a marriage has to be discontinued, it is important that as the divorcee looks at new relationships in a different light and how they can go about things in a different way, so that the love can last. 

Real Men Are Dads.

I love my dad. He is the best. He has made such big influence on me and he is very supportive of most of my hair-brained ideas. I look up to him and am so grateful to have him in my life. I know that it has made a lot of difference to have my dad and mom raise me. A few weeks ago, I was able to read a few articles about the importance of why we still need fathers in our society and how they fulfill many of their children's needs. The more that I see of life and the problems that surround us, I can see that a lot of what is happening (at least when talking about our societal problems) is caused by a lack of fathers in the home. It reminds of something that one of the leaders of the LDS Church had said when talking about the home; “The greatest work we will ever do will be within the walls of our home.” (David O. McKay)
In today's world, it is advocated that it should not matter if a child comes from a family with two mothers or two fathers. Many people say that men and women are and should be the same, so therefore can provide the same care that every child needs. Now, I am not saying that there cannot be those rare cases in which a mother can provide for what her child needs, but in most cases the children are likely to act out due to the absence of a father. There is just something about a dad that makes him irreplaceable. But not just a dad, but an actively involved dad. One that is present in the child's life.
That is why I feel so blessed to have my dad. I remember times where I was so incredibly embarrassed by him, but I am so grateful for those times. And it hasn't stopped either, but it just shows that he cares. I am so grateful for all the wonderful fathers in my life, They make such a difference. Real men are dads.

Children are the Greatest Tresure

My feelings on kids. How do I describe them? To say that I love children might just be the understatement of my life. I cannot explain what it means to me to play with my nieces and nephews. When I was in high school, I babysat for a family that had triplets. They were some of the funniest little boys with whom I have ever played. I thought that it was super interesting whenever I got to be around them. Those little boys were always together, so they shared many things in common (like they loved to jump on me and be swung around). Yet, they were different from one another. I remember that one of the boys loved music while the other two were not as interested. I once held a music recital and while I was playing he was waving his arms as if he were directing me. I feel like this difference was not caused by anything to do with a difference in upbringing, but a lot to do with how we were before we came to earth. God created us to be different from others so that we can all contribute something our mortal experience. 

In our class we talked about the importance of how we raise our children, emphasizing the question of nature or nurture. Any parent can attest that most of the time, a girl will want to play with the dollies and play house while a boy will be more rough and tumble. This, I believe, comes from our divine nature as male and female. I believe these traits come from before we were born. To get a little more in depth about this belief, you can visit this link: The Family: A Proclamation to the World. There are some people in the world that would say that we all need to be equal or that we must all be the same. I do not believe that if should be this way. If we were to all be the same, how in the world could we ever enjoy the wonders or genius that come from different styles of thinking? We need variety. The world needs variety, and we should give everyone an equal opportunity to search out what it is that makes them different. However, when we speak in terms of men and women, we can be equal without being the same. We need to celebrate our differences.

I love my family. I really do. They make up my entire life. Everything that my parents taught and all the torture that all my older siblings inflicted on me has made me who I am today. Now you feel bad, huh, Rebecca? Just kidding, I've forgiven you. But in all seriousness, I loved and still do love being with family. We've had some great times together and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
All of us come from different families. We all have those things that we love about our families. For me, one of those things is that we spend our Sundays together. My parents really took the time to emphasize the importance of family time and that families are forever. Now that I do not live near relatives, it just makes Skype and phone calls just that much more precious. I want that for my future family. There are a lot of things that I learned as a child that I want to include in my own family. Things such as being active in church programs, or that we looked for different opportunities to serve others. I love that I got to do it. At the time, not so much, but now I get it. Mom and Dad, do you hear that? I understand now why you made me do good things, so thank you for making me go. Keep up the good work!
But we all know that there are some things that we do not want to perpetuate once we start families of our own. These things might be super personal. Or they might just be that I want to teach specific things to my children that I do not remember being taught myself. The class that we had this week made me reflect on certain things that I found helpful in my own family and that I want to change. And it just makes me excited for the future.

Family Patterns

Have you ever thought that your family is so different and crazy and dysfunctional that no one really understands what it is like? Or is your family the polar opposite, that everything is cookie cutter perfect and just right on the dot about what a family should be? Maybe you fit in the middle, where your family has their crazy times, but still has their moments of being the picture perfect family? Well, it just so happens that all of our families, be them perfect or perfectly dysfunctional, have patterns or rhythms with which they work. One family may have a pattern of holding a little meeting to work through conflicts while another family may have the pattern of avoiding it altogether. One family may have the tradition of family dinner every night, or another could have both parents working in which dinner is a different sort of affair. I am not here to say which ones are right and which are wrong. Keep in mind as you read that I have very little experience with families beyond growing up in my own family. *Quick sappy insert: I love my family. They truly are my greatest heros, and I aspire to make them happy.

Really, what does that mean to you and me? So we have a rhythm to the way we live, big deal. But what about to those people that want to change how they live. Sometimes the ways in which we live are not healthy, or they cause excessive amounts anxiety or stress. *Side-note: Not all stress is bad, stress and hardships can keep us going. To see the point more beautifully illustrated see link here.  These repetitive ways of dealing with a problem in family life might just not be working out. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that the family is the most important unit in society and that we must guard it as faithfully as possible. The problems that arise in a family should be worked out; we should seek understanding and love when solving a negative tradition. We discussed in class the importance of understanding others and coming to understand their point of view of the situation. In the LDS faith, there is a document titled The Family: A Proclamation to the World, in which the leaders of our church have outlined how we may best come to understand others in our own families and resolve misunderstandings and hiccups that happen.

Baby's Future Equals World's Future

This week in our class, we discussed the trends that are happening in family life. The research that we looked at is taken from around the world, but much of it was taken from more developed countries because of its accessibility. What we saw was that there is a major decrease in the birth rate around the world and in turn the fertility rate has decreased to the point that one day soon we will no longer be able to maintain our population. You may be thinking now, “Wait, hold up Elizabeth, what in the world does that mean to us?” And I will tell you.

The birth rate is the number of births in a 1000 people born in a population in a year. Fertility rate is the average number of children born in the lifetime of the average woman. The average fertility rate around the world is below 2.13, which is the minimum in order to replace those of the population that pass on. So, we now know that less babies are being born per woman and per year. Now, how does that affect our population? Isn’t it common knowledge that our population is growing and causing more and more people to be out of a job, more and more people to be homeless, more and more people to go hungry? Well, yes, our population is growing, but not really because so many people are having so many babies. People are living longer. I cannot tell you how many stories I have heard of people living to be a hundred years old now. If someone had heard of a hundred year old person 25 years ago it would have been a rarity. Our health care now is wonder. We can do miraculous things, and so many more people have the capacity to live much longer than they did before.  

Now, what was this that I said about the fertility and birth rate dropping so low that one day we will not be able to maintain our population? Well, that we (we referring to the human race as a whole) are not having the children that we need to maintain our older generations that are coming out of the work force. Imagine all of the knowledge that your grandparents have. Imagine all of the knowledge that your parents have. Who is it that was or is in the workforce and about to leave it? Them! They need us, just like we need them. They need a strong generation of young people to care for the world just like they decided to when they were young and made the brave decision to have a family, work, and then do that day after day. 
Do we not always say that the children are the future? The children that we raise now will one day be our leaders, our writers, our doctors, and the parents of future generations to come. The documentary that we watched (link here) made me feel quite anxious about my future family, because it made me realize, again, the weight that comes with creating a family. It is not just to be able to see the cute little fingers and toes of newborns (though, let's face it, that is a huge plus), or one day hear a little voice call you “Mommy” or “Daddy.” It is that one day, my future children will be moms and dads (read: the biggest influence in anyone’s life) and I am going to be part of the process to help them become that influence. 
What we do in our lives now affects generations. How we choose to live, when we choose to marry, who to marry, how many children we choose to have, how we choose to raise them, it is not only “our future,” it is the world’s future too.

Lets Begin at the Beginning!

Hello All!
I am Elizabeth, a student at BYU--Idaho. The outdoors call my name, but only once in a while can I respond. Five months ago today, I came home from the best adventure of my life; a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I miss Mexico with all my heart. One day, I hope to return and hug everyone!
I am currently attending a Family course, called Family Relations. We have been asked to write a blog including our take on the material that we read, the discussions from class, and our personal hopes for our family future.
I must say that I am excited to take on this task. I love to learn and become better as a result of that learning. I hope to gain a better understanding of the family role in my life, in the lives of the people around me, and in our society. It is my sincerest hope that I can be a bit more coherent in my writing than I am in my speech. I find it fascinating to hear differing views on the same information. I encourage all to take time to comment so that we can all come to a better understanding of family in our lives. I am excited to see where this goes and what we can all glean from this.
Happy Readings!
Elizabeth